The Book of Mike

"This is no junior college. This is the notorious University of Miami.” -- Marlins starter Dontrelle Willis, after getting knocked around for six runs in 2 1/3 innings by the Canes.

Thursday, March 04, 2004


Not a lot of new commentary from me today, but I did find Aaron Gleeman’s post about yesterday’s Dodgers – Mets matchup to be downright hilarious. Some of the comments about Jeff Brantley’s commentary made me laugh out loud. Thank yous all around to Mr. Gleeman for skipping class yesterday and providing us with some humor. Here are some of the highlights:

“Here's how Brantley explains Adrian Beltre's struggles: "I have yet to see this guy come to the ballpark everyday and strap it on." This goes beyond cliche and into the realm of sexual innuendo, which is always nice.”

“On the other hand...Brantley: "I've always believed spring training is the best time for young kids to get close to players, to get autographs." This is one of Brantley's long-standing beliefs? He's really thinking outside the box.

I wonder if Brantley is this cliche-ridden in real life? Like when his wife asks him if he liked a movie, does he go "well, the actors obviously gave 110%, but they simply didn't strap it on as far as I could see."

“Brantley on Bubba Trammell: "When you play left field, they expect you to hit 35-40 home runs and I don't think Trammell is the guy to do that."

Number of major league left fielders who hit 35+ home runs in 2003: 3
Number of 35+ home run seasons by a left fielder in Dodger history: 2”

“Brantley does a whole speech about the "people" who are questioning why Franco is taking a roster spot from a younger guy. "Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, Johnny is here because he has earned this spot and as long as he can get people out..."

He can't finish his thought, because Jolbert Cabrera launches a homer to deep left-center off Franco. 11-3 Dodgers. That is about as good as timing can possibly get. The next hitter, Joe Thurston hits a single over Jason Phillips and into right field.

Brantley says he can't imagine Lima pitching for the Dodgers because when he was on the Giants, the Dodgers "always put crisp uniforms on." Yes, certainly.”

Sports Illustrated Loves the Cubs
First of all, I have to preface this comment by saying that as an alumnus of the University of Miami who attended the school at the time Sports Illustrated ran their infamous cover story entitled “Why the University of Miami Should Drop Football” I neither subscribe nor do I purchase Sports Illustrated (although I do still own a “Miami Illustrated – Why Sports Illustrated Should Drop Dead” t-shirt), but occasionally I do flip through the outdated issues that are typically for sale at Barnes and Noble (by the way, Willie Williams recruiting issues aside, where is SI or Alexander Wulf’s retraction for the article now that UM is running a clean, championship caliber program?). While doing so the other night I noticed that Sports Illustrated proclaimed the Cubs as having the best starting rotation in baseball this year. I’m sure that many of you will agree with this assertion and it would be difficult for me to disagree. However, I’m pretty confident that this is likely an SI curse and likely signals the downturn in the Cubs fortunes for the 2004 season.

Sucking up to Cubs fans probably sells a lot more magazines than doing right and coming clean about their condemnation of the University of Miami.


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