The Book of Mike

"This is no junior college. This is the notorious University of Miami.” -- Marlins starter Dontrelle Willis, after getting knocked around for six runs in 2 1/3 innings by the Canes.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Attack of Killer Bees Interrupts Oliver's Start

No, they weren't Killer B's of the Astros variety (take your pick of Bagwell, Biggio, Berkman, Beltran and the others over the years). And they probably weren't actually "killer" bees at all, but there were bees. Lots of bees...

Former Marlin Darren Oliver left his Cactus League start a little earlier than expected yesterday when… well, I’ll let a few lines from this story explain it:

A swarm of bees invaded the field on Thursday and forced a game between the Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks to be called after five innings.

The bees literally chased Rockies pitcher Darren Oliver from the mound. He kept trying to go back on the mound, but the bees would go after him again. Finally, he left for good and let another pitcher complete the inning.

Sometimes the truth is better than fiction. You just can’t make this stuff up folks.

When asked about the event afterwards, Oliver had this to say:

"I love this game," Oliver said, "but I like myself a little bit more."

This is something of an odd statement, but the veracity of it is clearly confirmed by Oliver's clarification of the matter:

Oliver said the bees apparently were attracted to the coconut oil in his hair gel.

I think it’s fair to say that any man who has coconut oil in his hair loves himself more than, well, probably anything.

My initial reaction was that I was glad that Oliver was no longer with the Marlins as this situation, along with a few from last season, made the pitcher seem somewhat flaky and like a malcontent (remember when Jack McKeon had the audacity to send him to the bullpen?).

However, if you keep reading the story, you eventually come to this line:

There was a brief bee delay at the same ballpark two years ago.

Which is later followed by this gem:

There have been increasing reports of emergency calls involving swarming bees in the Phoenix and Tucson areas in recent weeks.

And after reading that, I’m glad that I no longer live in the Phoenix area. More than sounding bizarre, this sounds like something with biblical implications. I should probably be glad to have gotten out while the getting was good.


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